In America, anyone can become president. 47. Laughuntil you gasp for breath., I have as much authority as the Pope. Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bullshit they teach you in school. ", Capitalism tries for a delicate balance: It attempts to work things out so that everyone gets just enough stuff to keep them from getting violent and trying to take other peoples stuff., "Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out. My first rule: I dont believe anything the government tells me. ~ (George Carlin). If everyone in the world sat quietly at the same time, closed their eyes and concentrated as hard as they could on peace and goodwill, all the killing and cruelty in the world would continue. In America, anyone can become president. 27 George Carlin Quotes For Freethinkers and Rebels by Libertarian Country. 110. Conservatives say if you dont give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. George Carlin. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. ~ (George Carlin). https://t.co/f7cD8Ng2AA. The planet is fine. And term-limits aint going to do you any good. 55. Lean and mean! An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. The shit they shuffle around every four years doesnt mean a fuckin thing. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. Now theres one thing you might have noticed i dont complain about: politicians. Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music. ~ (George Carlin). 109. Considered as one of the greatest stand-up comedians of all time, his distinctive and provocative style of speeches, aimed at ridiculing the vices of the American society, redefined the genre and influenced a great number of comics.He started his career in the radio and in nightclub acts before his breakout in a variety of television shows that made him a popular household name. If you think too much, they'll take you away. ", "Conservatives don't give a shit about you until you reach military age. On the face of it, one could say that he was an exceptional sociocultural critic who left a lasting mark in modern society through his witty reflections and incredibly entertaining sharp statements. Nothing is mentioned, though, about cursing a lack of candles. ~ (George Carlin). 116. 45. So I have solved this little political dilemma for myself in a very simple way: on election-day, I-STAY-HOME. 104. George Carlin. The surgeon general warned today that saliva causes stomach cancer. I call him Governor Bush because thats the only political office hes ever held legally in this country. What if I want to have a crappy day? ~ (George Carlin). I think its the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately. May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.. Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. He also suggests that politicians are merely the puppets bringing big businesses plans and ideas to fruition. 34. 30 Best George Carlin Quotes The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. The planet is fine. And fight songs. Where are all the bright, honest, intelligent Americans ready to step in and save the nation and lead the way? First of all, I can see the sun, okay? And far from staying to the safer path, he leapt time and again past the cliff of common wisdom, in the hopes of rattling us into questioning the way we live. Save the trees, save the bees, save the whales, save those snails. ~ (George Carlin). 13. Carlin was not unique in that he saw through the thick layers of societal propaganda and rhetoric that are the source of many of the worlds problemsand let it be known that, despite his liberal stance on most social issues, he would point out their hypocrisies as wellbut he was well-respected and well-spoken enough to have left an impression on American thinking and history. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Wheres the self-help section? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. ~ (George Carlin). ", I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where's the self-help section?' If youre born in America you get a front row seat. While breaking down these claims on political correctness, Carlin implements his own set of values. Sooner or later the people in this country are going to realize: the government does not give a f**k about them. He was a true originala brash, intelligent, eloquent voice that cut to the quick. They own you. If you cant beat them, arrange to have them beaten. Craziest Republican Quotes of the 21st Century, Best Anti-Gun Jokes and One-Liners About Gun Control, Funny Arnold Schwarzenegger Quotes as Actor and Politician. I have as much authority as the Pope. Its never just a game when youre winning. ~ (George Carlin). Its because volunteers work for no pay. They believe a woman's primary role is to function as a broodmare for the state. Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Why is it called tourist season if we cant shoot at them? ~ (George Carlin). God has. Swimming is not a sport. Why isn't selling fucking legal?". The planet isnt going anywhere. Have you ever wondered why Republicans are so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? They spend billions of dollars every year lobbyinglobbying to get what they want. But who is confident enough to give their persona the name Hendrix? 19. 120. That in of itself should make you think.Carlin performed many standup comedy routines and HBO specials, acted in dozens of television and movie productions, recorded spoken-word albums, and was the author of several books, with titles like Brain Droppings (97) and Napalm and Silly Putty (01).What I loved about Carlin was his dedication to freethinking and independent thought. Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. Ironic that political wings have come to fight over claiming Carlins humor for their own affiliations when his comedy career was a controversial compilation of his own bold assessments and ruthless truths that could offend anyone and everyone on a given topic with neither prejudice nor remorse. 23. When you're born into this world, you're given a ticket to the freak show. Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. I just dont have as many people who believe it. "I'm completely in favor of the separation of 1. Hes not a cheese. Several reasons. 60. 53. Daniel Kurtzman is a political journalist turned satirist. Dont give your money to the church. Former U.S. representative wonders: Can you keep an (Anthony) Weiner down? As for the poor, they tell us theyve lost all incentive because weve given them too much money.[6]. So we are going to have to do lots of things different as a Black community," Ice Cube said in a video shared on Twitter on October 11. Love, was the kind of person you could hang out with and [], Slim and soft-spoken, endearingly warm and witty, with an enviable knack for captivating the interest of his audiences during his [], How can a sickly boy, suffering from asthma, rickets and rheumatic fever, transform himself into an accomplished gymnast, a wrestler [], With his simple, unpretentious writing style, characterized by an unfiltered, punchy honesty and violent and sexual imagery, Bukowski managed to [], Born in 1910 in Hall, Indiana, John Robert Wooden, aka the Wizard of Westwood, was an American basketball player and [], Short Funny George Carlin Quotes that will make you Laugh, Best George Carlin Quotes to make you Laugh and Think Out of the Box, Insightful George Carlin Quotes on Politics and Government, Inspirational George Carlin Quotes on Life, Society and People, Provocative George Carlin Quotes on Religion that will Remind you there is a Funny Side of God, 80 Woody Allen Quotes About Missing Your Own Funeral and Other Life Stories, 60+ Edgar Allan Poe Quotes to Take You on a Mystery Ride, 51 Elvis Presley Quotes About the Essence of Life and Rock n Roll, 50 Harvey Milk Quotes To Help Us Never Silence Hope, 44 Astonishing Mary Astell Quotes that Spoke of Gender Equality Earlier Than You Think, 50 Unconventional Quotes From Future About Love And Life, 70 Pertinent James Madison Quotes That Can Still Inspire a Better State, 60 Powerful Led Zeppelin Quotes About Love, Life And Death, 65 Exceptional Ruth Bader Ginsburg Quotes About The Fight For Justice, 70 Ariana Grande Quotes That Will Inspire You And Make You Fall In Love, Best 90 George Orwell Quotes on the Danger of Oppression, 75 Jane Austen Quotes on the Truth of Love, The Best Eckhart Tolle Quotes About Now & Being, 70 Karl Marx Quotes to Form Conscience on Social Issues, 60+ Alexander The Great Quotes on the Idea of an Empire, 99 Leonardo Da Vinci Quotes About Knowledge, Art and Inspiration, 50+ Motivational Leo Buscaglia Quotes on Living and Learning, 100+ Yuval Noah Harari Quotes About the World Today, 70+ Joseph Pilates Quotes About the Pilates Method and Your Bodys Potential, 66 Gritty Charles Bukowski Quotes for Restless Souls, 110 John Wooden Quotes to Help You Coach Yourself. When someone asks you, A penny for your thoughts, and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny? ~ (George Carlin). Laugh until you gasp for breath. It will be Nike sneakers and Smiley shirts. Im always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize Im listening to it. George Carlin 11. I do this real moron thing, and its called thinking. 9. 85. And why would it be America out of all the countries? It's so obvious that it almost goes without saying, but comedians are generally more intelligent and sensitive than the average person. Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. ~ (George Carlin). He described himself thus: "Im a rude dude, but Im the real deal. Analyse the Republicans now.#DemVoice1 #Fresh pic.twitter.com/1VVJdfOnVg, Tony #DemVoice1 (@TonyHussein4) May 21, 2022. The Catholic Church alone could wipe out the national debt if all you did was tax their real estate. Our enemies pray for God to destroy us. In recent years, the popularity of George Carlin has amplified among constitutional conservatives, libertarians, anarchists and freethinkers. First Words (@unscriptedmike) May 18, 2022, George Carlin said "When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. As for the poor, they tell us theyve ", "I'm pretty sick of church people. 113. Carlin left a wealth of social, political, and religious commentaryand most of it was highly critical. And theyre elected by American citizens. Just a friendly reminder that George Carlin would despise and verbally disembowel the vast majority of pundits, public figures, and random idiots currently heaping praise on him because it's trendy. People are wonderful. If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isnt the whole airplane made out of that stuff? The quality of our thoughts and ideas can only be as good as the quality of our language. ~ (George Carlin). 6. Nobody owns anything. Dont give your money to the church. If honesty were suddenly introduced into American life, the whole system would collapse. At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. I know, they say, they say: well if you dont vote you have no right to complain. It will be Nike sneakers and Smiley shirts. "Hmm? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose., "Life is not that complicated. If you have selfish ignorant citizens If you have selfish ignorant citizens, youre going to get selfish ignorant leaders. The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions. ~ (George Carlin). Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. People always tell me Have a nice day. Well what if I dont want to? Continue with Recommended Cookies. ", "Conservatives say if you don't give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. It is easy to speculate that George Carlin would have been disgusted by the thought of being a political darling for any party, and especially by the thought of being partisan media clickbait. Political correctness is America's newest form of intolerance, and it is especially pernicious because it comes disguised as tolerance. The strikes left 34 people injured, including three children, and caused widespread damage. It will be Nike sneakers and Smiley shirts. Isnt it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do practice? They're anti-woman. Thats the problem. Thats the problem." 64. Do these people honestly think that God is sitting around picking out his favorites? When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. Read these short quotes by the renowned comedian to make you smile while seeing things from a different perspective. WebHere are some of our favorite George Carlin quotes on politics. They [Catholic teachers] would fall back on, Well, its a mystery.[2]. The challenge is to find it. I have lots of ideas. Somebodys wasting their fucking time. If not, no matter." But wheres the logic in that? In America, anyone can become president. Apparently, we're not ready for that., "The very existence of flamethrowers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, 'You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done. If this is the best God can do, I am not impressed. Religion is like a pair of shoes. by Libertarian Country How can He be perfect? The Christians gave Him Sunday, the Jews gave Him Saturday, and the Muslims gave Him Friday. That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it. 9 View more comments #2 Tell people theres an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. Ioanna Zafeiriou How are YOU going to tackle today? "Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough not to quit. 12. Others see it half empty. Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? I hate a group of people with a 'common purpose'. The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. ~ (George Carlin). ago 114. Laugh often, long and loud. When youre born into this world, youre given a ticket to the freak show. If your kid needs a role model and you ain't it, you're both fucked. If you vote, and you elect dishonest, incompetent people, and they get into office and screw everything up, well you are responsible for what they have done, YOU caused the problem, you voted them in, you have no right to complain. War, disease, death, destruction, hunger, filth, poverty, torture, crime, corruption, and the Ice Capades. My advice: just keep movin straight ahead. You have no choice. Its what our system produces: Garbage in. I consider them to be symbols and I leave symbols to the symbol minded. ~ (George Carlin). 123. If this is the best God can do, Im not impressed. ~ (George Carlin). Im Chandan Negi, the Founder of Internet Pillar. I love sharing quotes and sayings to inspire and motivate people. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. 106. For a man disappointed in all of humanity not sure he wanted to be claimed by either side. SCOTUS Now Just Another Congressional Committee, Trump Ramps up Attacks on DeSantis: 'Dropping Like a Rock', Russian Strikes on Pavlohrad Aim to Hamper Ukraine's Counteroffensive, Greg Abbott Criticized for Response to Texas Shooting: 'A New Low', Democrat Sold First Republic Stock, Bought JP Morgan Before Collapse, Conservative Influencers Struggle With Countering Biden's Messaging. But a comedian has the ability to use their anger and intelligence to refocus and reconstruct their pain into entertainment. 94. Carlin passed away in 2008 of heart failure.With his sparkling intellect and caustic humour, George Carlin derided and criticized political, religious, cultural and taboo subjects. So I don't trust none of them.". Surround yourself with what you love. ~ (George Carlin). But once youre born, youre on your own. Indeed, George Carlin was in a class of his own, however this would only be half the story. Women are crazy. See more ideas about george carlin, carlin, quotes. Everyone smiles in the same Religion is like a pair of shoes Find one that fits for you, but dont make me wear your shoes. Because he likes our National Anthem? Goalcast is an inspiring community for achievers dedicated to helping you improve all aspects of your life. Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit. ~ (George Carlin). There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls. Pro-lifethese people aren't pro-life, they're killing doctors! The challenge is to find it. ~ (George Carlin). 93. I see a glass thats twice as big as it needs to be. In the standup special, which premiered just three years before Carlin's death, the comedian claims that "the real owners are the big wealthy business interests that control things and make all the important decisions." Im happy to tell you there is very little in this world that I believe in. A few laughs with George Carlin. Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Powered by Shopify. 86. Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body. ~ (George Carlin). Religion. Carlin considered conservatives and Republicans the greedy, warmongering class in political ideologies. Its what our system produces: Garbage in. He also suggests that politicians are merely the puppets bringing big businesses plans and ideas to fruition. They brought a new era to the world [], An outstanding jurist and the second woman ever appointed to the U.S. Supreme Court, Ruth Bader Ginsburg trail blazed through [], When trying to write about Ariana Grande, one word comes directly to the mind and sums up everything: phenomenon. 115. Political correctness is Americas newest form of intolerance, and it is especially pernicious because it comes disguised as tolerance. ", "Here's all you need to know about men and women. April 18, 2023, To Get Exclusive Deals, Latest Products, Free Articles & Libertarian News, 2023 Libertarian Country. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? ~ (George Carlin). They've got the judges in their back pockets. There's only the immediate future and the recent past. When you step on the brakes, your life is in your foots hands. In Carlin's day, the troglodyte hardline evangelic conservative always tried to rule society's language and morality with an iron fist. Weather forecast for tonight: dark. WebGeorge Carlin > Quotes > Quotable Quote (?) We are a nation of sheep, and someone else owns the grass. ~ (George Carlin). I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? And how many more manners and gestures [], Quiet spoken, with an amiable smile and an elfin like quality, Eckhart Tolle is the author of international bestsellers The [], Class struggle, class consciousness, alienation, communism and the face of Karl Marx in numerous posters in teenagers and students [], At the age of 12 he tamed a wild stallion, Bucephalus, that later became his beloved companion in battle, and [], Born in 1452, in Anchiano, Tuscany, Leonardo di ser Piero Da Vinci was best known for his paintings of Mona [], Truly adorable and friendly, Leo Buscaglia, aka Dr. ", "The owners of this country don't want that. We are a nation of sheep, and someone else owns the grass. The people are fucked. Religion is just mind control. ~ (George Carlin). Tax them. The middle class pays all of the taxes, does all of the work. Im fu*kin serious! ~ (George Carlin). Every religion is by all means to be respected but the role of the Churches is debatable. Thats the problem. ~ (George Carlin). ", "In America, anyone can become president. 68. The word bipartisan usually means some larger-than-usual deception is being carried out. ~ (George Carlin).

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