Theres nothing you can do about it. I I got nowhere to be. Im fucking over it. So I decided to spend the night at Joe Paines house, who had been my friend since I was six years old. We would sit around, drink, and and talk about maybe one day, you know? 0:46. Thats the worst thing you can be as a little kid is a fucking bed-wetter. I dont mean to seem ungrateful, but I got shit to do, Jeff. Thats it. Starring: Ron White Watch all you want. And I was about 12 years old and I had gone three months without wetting the bed. In a dystopian future devastated by air pollution, the survival of humanity depends on the Black Knights and theyre far from your average deliverymen. You went to one of my shows, you She let you! So I did my set, and Im out in the hallway talking to Joe Rogan and this guy comes up to me, in his early 30s, I would guess, very flamboyant, very nervous. By continuing, you agree to the Privacy Policy and You look like you just ate a ghost pepper. What the fuck is that supposed to mean? And You Might Be A Redneck had been the number one-selling comedy album in the country for a year and a half. But it sure helps to have a headliner believe in you like Foxworthy believed in White. I dont remember. Because this dick wont suck itself. Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up 2018 | Maturity Rating: 18+ | 1h 3m | Stand-Up Comedy Ron "Tater Salad" White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. One [giggling] ..fucking eyehole. The way they cross the street right in front of fucking cars with that weird-ass confidence. Yo, bitch, what the fuck you going to do about it? Lock those beady eyes on you. Get in the car. One of these treatments is a thing called anal bleaching. Theyre doing whatever the fuck they want to do whenever the fuck they want to do it. After his miner grandfather's death, Pancho travels with his wife and kids to his hometown, where chaos ensues with his relatives over the inheritance. Tiger doesnt get any credit for all that pussy he turned down, and thats the number youre looking for right there. Best deal Ive ever heard of in my life to this day. Ron Tater Salad White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. Im like, Oh! And the punchline of that story is, I come back to the States, when I get back to the States, my assistant goes, Ron, did you hear that John Mayhew died? And Im like, John Mayhew Why do I know that name? Its your ex-wifes divorce lawyer. [laughing quietly] Oh, I hated that motherfucker. Im in the road! Does a Z-pattern to get across. This one takes a bit to get going and funny, but once he starts, he keeps it going hard. So if youre ever in Beverly Hills on Sunday night, go to the Four Seasons. I have sleep apnea, which keeps my wife awake. And it really reminded Jeff and I of how much fun we have on stage together and how much we like to play off each other. The motherfucker! Im the watchdog at our house. And I dont know why, cause they used to sell duck tacos, nobody gave a shit. And thats about a 45-second task with me at 18 years old. No. Copyright Fandango. Ron "Tater Salad" White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. A military-trained assassin comes out of hiding to protect the daughter she's never met from ruthless criminals gunning for revenge. Just lunch. 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I may or may not be a little drunk. Cinemark Thank you very much. In the wake of her prom scandal, Princess Margrethe longs for normalcy as she struggles to maintain her perfect facade while dealing with family drama. Im 61 years old now, and I know two things to be true. Ron "Tater Salad" White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. Ron "Tater Salad" White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. Im like, Im through it. Shut up, youre supposed to shut up. Verified reviews are considered more trustworthy by fellow moviegoers. And three hours after I met this chick, Im laying on my back going, [tightly] This bitch is crazy. And I was right. Fuck it. The newest one thats not very new, but its the newest one. Id have said, Aint nobody gonna pay to watch fat midgets fuck fat midgets. Bullshit, theres a sequel. And the guys over there still think theyre hot. Montreals a gorgeous city, and the festivals are done in 20 venues all over the town, beautiful thing. It was about three years ago, and there were six comics in an open forum, telling stories, and this is the story that I told. Lets do a couple of blocks. His answers are crass. Ill come back over and pay you. This is what he says: Well, those dont look like the socks of a man who would steal an egg. Yeah, they sure the fuck dont. That guy cant drive my fucking car. '", Ana Navarro Jokes About Sara Haines' White House Correspondents' Dinner Antics on 'The View': "Maybe There Will Be a Restraining Order", Sunny Hostin Opens Up About Receiving Hurtful Emails on The View: Im Not Liked By Half The Country, Sunny Hostin Shades Meghan McCain for Scathing Column About 'The View': "Our Show Is a Wonderful Place". In this hour, White regales his audience with anecdotes about a young fan approaching him at The Comedy Store in Los Angeles, about how he lost his virginity at 18 over and over again to prostitutes, his offbeat presidential ambitions, and even how he tried to overcome his anxiety with bedwetting as a child. 'Succession' Season 4 Episode 6 Recap: "Living+", 'Succession': Tom and Shiv's "Bitey" Game is the Horniest, Most Effed Up Thing Theyve Done Yet. 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All rights reserved. Im all over it, dude. And I asked the guy, I said How much are the dildos? And he goes, [angrily] Theyre not dildos, theyre personal massagers. All right. Im like, Really? Get married, dont get married. I do it all the time. All right. This is, uh This is brilliant. Nobody wants to be a white asshole, but everybody wants to have one all of a sudden. Young Queen Charlotte's marriage to King George of England sparks an epic love story and transforms high society in this "Bridgerton" universe prequel. Thanks for playing our game. Follow officers from a South Carolina sheriffs department as they urgently search for individuals who've disappeared under troubling circumstances. Build a net. Your email address will not be published. I mean, I wet the bed all the fucking time and I just hated myself for it. And I still eat tacos, but now I only eat the baby duck pussy lip tacos that you get at the Four Seasons in Beverly Hills on Sunday. You know, the fame and fortune and all that? And I said, I dont think so, but I kept thinking about it, and I realized its changed me in two ways. Videos Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up I gotta go. Im coming back twice a day every fucking day. Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up 2018| Maturity Rating:TV-MA | 1h 3m| Comedies Ron "Tater Salad" White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. the press, a -- top -- as well as the family of evan gershkovich which -- while it is a star studded, lighthearted evening, there is that backdrop of serious issues going on. And we decided on a date that we would do it, and we decided to do it from the Punchline here in Atlanta in front of a live crowd, and it was really fun. And nobody wants our shit anymore. Thats the whole plan. Ron Tater Salad White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. And it was his goal for a lot of years to make me a famous comedian, and he truly sucks at it, cause it took him for fuckin ever. Starring: Ron White Watch all you want. Its for sale. Im not doing that either. [whispering] Charming. Ill tell you how the conversation ended, and then youll know how it went. Its got three comedy clubs and Id just done a 15-minute set in the OR, which is the original room, but they call it the OR. Im better at oral sex than Ive ever been and I think its just because Im older and Im just more patient than I was when I was young, because cause now Ill lay there for hours and let you do your thing. JOIN NOW Videos Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up Cause .08s not drunk. How much is the personal massager shaped like a big black cock? You guys are amazing. [squawk] Bites me on the fucking leg. [laughing] Seems like Id have something else to say after that. Theres an opening act, that makes between 100 and 200 a week for nine shows, the feature act which is what I was makes between 400 and 500 bucks for nine shows, and a headliner who can make absolutely anything depending upon who they are.. Follow officers from a South Carolina sheriffs department as they urgently search for individuals who've disappeared under troubling circumstances. Im also an idea man. Baby goose pussy lips makes wagyu beef taste like boot leather. He didnt say that. Ron White - Take 2 Viagra and demand a pat down. Baby goose pussy lips makes wagyu beef taste like boo boot leather. Nothing could make this better. Sean L. McCarthy Decider. I have no idea what Id do if I walked out and somebody was there, Id be like [yawning] [click] Oh, hey. Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up 2018 | Maturity Rating: 16+ | 1h 3m | Stand-Up Comedy Ron "Tater Salad" White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. And then the whole experience just started to creep me the fuck out. lindsey? Ill give you a second to get your arms around that. There were porno movies everywhere, but the porno movie that caught my eye was called Fat Midgets Fucking Fat Midgets Two. Legendary comedian and podcaster Marc Maron stars in his first-ever HBO comedy special filmed in front of a live audience at New York Citys Town Hall. Marvel Movies Ranked Worst to Best by Tomatometer, Jurassic Park Movies Ranked By Tomatometer, RT25: Celebrating 25 Years of Rotten Tomatoes, Weekend Box Office Results: Super Mario Joins the Billion-Dollar Club. Ron "Tater Salad" White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up TV Special 2018 1h 3m IMDb RATING 6.6 /10 892 YOUR RATING Rate Play trailer 0:24 1 Video 2 Photos Comedy Ron "Tater Salad" White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. Somebody was peeing on me! You cant fix stupid. Well, whatever it is, I wouldnt worry about it if I were you. We keep hearing more comedians tell stories about the comedy business. And the guy that played Tarzan was a really, really handsome fella, and he was really a good-looking guy, but I was watching it, thinking, You know, if that guy from Thor, Chris Hemsworth, was in this, this would really be a better movie, cause Id just rather look at Chris Hemsworth without his shirt on. What the fuck did you just think? And before the thing started, I had my tour bus up there, Jeff and I are sitting on my tour bus and this Golden Corral commercial comes on television, which is where Jeff works now. While TVs sitcom rednecks encountered cute culture clashes with their posh new neighbors, White regales us with how he has come to respect and almost admire the gay men in the West Hollywood bars near his home. A young man's trip to attend a funeral and a wedding on the same day leads to a journey of self-discovery when he's captivated by a chance encounter. These places are packed to the fucking rafters at 2:30 in the afternoon, seven days a week. Id help you move it out, but Im bleeding. Like, What? The one I saw was called, Its Just Lunch, and what they do is they just hook people up, and they have lunch, broad daylight, right in the middle of the day. And I am an idea man, too. We wont be able to verify your ticket today, but its great to know for the future. Or if theres some paint chips and a tray of Smile Bright. Well, Bills doing one show at the big Forum down at Caesars, and were doing three shows a night in a smaller room. Is that Glen Campbell or Nick Nolte? Filming Locations for the Disney+ Movie, Alexander Molony Is the Perfect Blend of Charming and Naive in Disney+s Peter Pan & Wendy, What Does "Doderick Macht Frei" on 'Succession' Mean? Cause I dont have the answer to a lot of lifes questions. Whats she doing to Wilson? She goes, Look, its just on the wrong channel. Click. And these guys are laughing and dancing and drinking, and theyre having a fucking blast. Viagra. Fully-functioning organs are not necessary to watch Ron Whites new special, If You Quit Listening Ill Shut Up. Im like, Theyre gonna know. Go behind the scenes of Netflix TV shows and movies, see what's coming soon and watch bonus videos on, Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up (Teaser), Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up (Trailer). Ahh! Just confirm how you got your ticket. [whispering] Did you? Do you think I fucking heard it? [mooing] Welcome to our giant all-you-can-eat food trough. Your email address will not be published. Besides, if youre at that point in a make-out session, youre gonna do it anyway. You fucking idiot. 1,410, This story has been shared 1,216 times. We had spent $100,000 on this little fucking room, and that builder, that motherfucker. Thanks for playing along. Itll be fun. Im like, All right, lets go. And it was unbelievable, huge, all the big dildo companies were there, uh. Ill show you dick.. I know it smells like piss. Netflix uses cookies for personalization, to customize its online advertisements, and for other purposes. JOIN NOW Videos Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up Over 15 million albums, not including the millions and millions of Blue Collar albums you guys bought. Based in NYC but will travel anywhere for the scoop: Ice cream or news. Downloads only available on ad-free plans. She brings these dogs home, and Im like, What the fuck? And she goes, Theyre watchdogs, Im like, What are they gonna watch? I dont need this shit. Joe Rogan with Ron White on Dane Cook, Carlos Mencia & Stealing Jokes From Comedians! Numan1235cansunar2234comtr. I picked up the DVD, looked at the cover, it looked like somebodys trying to shove a pumpkin through a beach ball. Members can watch as much as they want, anytime, anywhere, on any internet-connected screen. Im ready. I got to what? Geese arent natural. More for how they dont have to deal with marriage. I said, I ordered a movie, it said, Please enjoy your feature film, but nothing came on the TV. She goes, Ill send somebody over from Maintenance, Im like Knock on the door, its a chick from Maintenance. I couldnt fucking breathe. [whistling] Im on break. No other animal crosses the road with this kind of fucking poise. A little while back I was watching this documentary on transvestites, and they start talking about the transvestite scene thats been on Hotel Street on Oahu for 55years. And right before I went on stage, I was in the green room of the main room, and they came over there and they said, Ron, they need you in the OR. I never thought anybody would fucking say that, you know? My cousin Ray, who Ive talked about on stage before, hes a real guy, he only eats at the Golden Corral because my cousin Ray only dates huge women. Get the freshest reviews, news, and more delivered right to your inbox! Thats why. Were just gonna have lunch. All rights reserved. Cause I dont care if shes a little salty. What?. Thats all a cat has to do, is just, Pow! Theres so many dead cats on my street, it looks carpeted. Get too fat at the Golden Corral, go to the Dress Barn. Thats insensitive right there. This goose comes out of this pond like a fucking killing machine. I was in Melbourne, Florida, one time and I was driving a rental car, and I was by myself, and Id had two drinks. Im not, and Ill tell you why. If you can beat me at darts, you can take me to fucking jail, how about that? Somebody asked me to do this story. RT25: Celebrating 25 years of Rotten Tomatoes. While I was in Canada shooting a fucking pilot! And Ill tell you why I didnt have a problem with it, cause I thought the number of people beating off to my image was zero. I have no idea what color my asshole is. And that was the first timeall three of us had our names on big signs in Vegas, and we went outside to look at it, and I was like, Fuck, now what? Theyre not natural. But why settle for fictional tall tales when you can sit back and enjoy Whites actual road stories. Cause were looking for a gag gift, and if that doesnt gag her, I dont know what were going to use, cause its gotta be something big, you tell me. Cause usually if a woman is that beautiful at 40 and never been married, either they give horrible head or theyre completely insane. We walk up to this booth that only sells dildos. No, no, White proudly proclaims on his fifth stand-up comedy special, and first for Netflix, that at 61, hes a raging alcoholic.. I hope you guys enjoyed it. Maybe one day well be the big comics in Vegas, and our names will be on those big fucking signs. Theyre not. Downloads only available on ad-free plans. He brought one to Vegas last year, and I saw her by the swimming pool in a two-piece bathing suit, and I cant jack the fucking memory out of my goddamn skull. Yeah! Since the Blue Collar Comedy Tour first started in 2000, Texas native Ron White has always stood apart from the other three stand-up comedians as the odd man in. Another service they offer at this spa is a thing called vaginal rejuvenation. And when I was in Edinburgh, I realized that the Scots made me laugh harder than anybody. Kathleen Madigan: Hunting Bigfoot (2023) | Transcript, Marc Maron: From Bleak to Dark (2023) | Transcript, Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle (2023) | Transcript. Cats die when they touch the road. Is The Nurse On Netflix Based On A True Story? Sure, Larry the Cable Guy is the definitive character act in the group headed by Jeff Foxworthy with Bill Engvall. It follows Bert Kreischer as he spills on bodily emissions, being bullied by his kids and the end to his familys escape room outing. You know, they do that now. Thats not a sobriety test. My wife does yoga, and next to her yoga school in Beverly Hills, theres a spa that offers treatments that Ive never heard of. Go see what it is. Wake up those fucking dogs you bought. And traditionally during the week, these three comics would go to the mall and those two comics would watch that comic spend money. Well, Ive been here, but Ive never been here, and if I only Dead. 2021 Scraps from the Loft. I go back up to the room and shes passed out, in this negligee, and shes fucking gorgeous. Any ideas? Anyway, it gets to be 5:30 in the morning. In the summer, I keep a bowl of limes right next to the salt shaker, and Ill just get a lime, squirt a little lime juice in there, little bit of salt, hunker down, do some pussy shots. What is the Spanish language plot outline for Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up (2018)? 6:01, gets there. Literally, people come from all over the world to buy stuff for their shops, and my wife said, My friends having a shower. !For all New peeps to my channel, plz like and Subscribe and hit that Notification bell for Future VideosWeekly Uploads! Now, I wont drive drunk, but I will ride with somebody that cant blow a .08 and not fucking know it. password | 846 views, 6 likes, 0 loves, 0 comments, 1 shares, Facebook Watch Videos from The Power Trip: Lil' B and Meatsauce take on Justin Gaard and. Its like you were waiting in line for two hours to ride a roller coaster and it finally shows up and the seats are kinda bumpy and worn out. And I was so goddamn mad. Baby goose pussy [tripping over his tongue] makes wagyu beef taste like boot leath boot All right, Im gonna rewrite this sentence. I just think Chris Hemsworths the best-looking motherfucker. And just set it and forget it and fucking shut it down. Thats all you get. One, while we were building this house, my wife selected these really exotic Japanese toilets. But White, with a cigar in his hand and a tall glass of tequila always filled on the stool by his side onstage (a tequila brand he sells on his website, btw), remains the real character. I ordered the movie. I left everything in my room, and I tell the guy, Listen, I got to go back to the hotel. Im sure youre grateful. Ron White- If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up (2018) Watch HD. [snorting] I dont, really Ive got tons of gay friends, most of em male dancers from fucking Vegas, and theyre like, We want to get married too. Im like, Youre going to fucking hate it, but, I think the Supreme Court fucked up the best thing about being gay. Starring: Ron White Watch all you want. I got attacked by a goose when I was a kid. A broom handle, a pool cue, a fucking plunger. Gag, woman, gag. Follow officers from a South Carolina sheriffs department as they urgently search for individuals who've disappeared under troubling circumstances. I dont know. My uncle was a Baptist preacher, and I was at his little white clapboard Baptist church in a little bitty town in Texas and I was sitting Vacation bible school. It doesnt matter what it fucking looks like. Traditionally in American comedy clubs, theres three acts. Ron White: If You Quit Listening I'll Shut Up | Stand-up Special Trailer [HD] | Netflix Netflix 25.4M subscribers 118K views 4 years ago Fully-functioning organs are not necessary.

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